Sunday, 22 January 2017

Dragon Rampant Dwarfs v Goblins

After spending yesterday watching the eldest boy (and several hundred other of Nottinghamshire's finest teen swimmers) plough up and down a 50m pool I felt I should spend some time with the smaller off my offspring.
So I made him play Dragon Rampant.
Two 24 point forces - we went easy on the extras and no magic.

He had

  • Light Foot, Leader, Short ranged missiles (Night Goblin spears)
  • Light Foot (NG spears)
  • Light missiles (Night Goblin archers)
  • Offensive Heavy Foot (Three Trolls)
  • Light riders, venomous (Goblin Spider Riders)

Facing him I took

  • Elite foot, Leader, Fear (Dwarf Lord and Hammerers bodyguard)
  • Elite foot (Longbeards)
  • Offensive Heavy Foot (Dwarf Warriors)
  • Heavy Missiles (Dwarfs with Crossbows)

We elected for a simple Bloodbath scenario and decided against using quests/boasts

I hid my units behind the central hill, whilst the boy loaded both flanks (though I was most worried about the trolls and spiders on my right)

I advanced and the goblins did likewise. Some frisky shooting from the spiders rapidly whittled the Longbeards down to half strength - venomous arrows proving quite tasty.

The Longbeards took troll to the face but managed to beat them back with no casualties.

Before the spiders nipped round the back and poisoned another one.

Over on the left flank some sporadic shooting had broken out, but my crossbowmen failed the first of several shooting tests - much to the small boy's amusement.

He wasn't quite so amused when the spiders failed a test and then failed again when trying to evade and were caught and cut to pieces by the clan warriors.

On the left the Lord and his men finally managed to crash into the archers, battering them thoroughly.

Unfortunately the Warriors were caught by the Trolls and despite giving as good as they got were forced back, battered - and then failed the subsequent start of turn test and fell back some more.

The trolls meanwhile shook off their battered status and advanced on the warriors, who were just about able to recover their own courage before the Trolls crashed home. In the ensuing fight, both sides inflicted casualties then failed their Courage tests spectacularly and fled the field.

This left just the two Elite Dwarf units, both reduced to half strength and the undamaged crossbows to face two units of goblin spears.

The small boy sneaked his leader's unit up nice and close and then began throwing spears at them, whittling the unit away
In the end I was forced to charge them, but despite killing a goblin or two was forced back before finally succumbing to missile fire.

In a last throw of the dice I launched the Longbeards at the other Night Goblin spear unit, but despite battering them they stayed in the game

And with that the dice told us the fight was at an end and both armies left the field.
Totaling up the Glory gave a narrow win for the Dwarfs, but as their leader lay face down in the dirt and the Goblin chief still lived to tell the tale perhaps a draw was a better reflection.

A good fun game - not too long for the small boy's attention and with lots of cinematic swingy moments. I'd made some unit cards up before the game which helped him get the feel of his units nice and early - but after a few turns we both new exactly what was going on.

Friday, 20 January 2017

Orks v Orksv Orks - 40K AAR

On the war-torn planet of Ilkestaaaaan VII amid the ruins of the capital city of Stefangrad rival Ork Warbosses have met to try and hammer out a peace accord. Or, failing that hammer a piece out of one another.

Warboss Gruzzkup had turned up with his Evil Sunz lads and Warboss Ballruum has likewise appeared with red clad boys. Meanwhile Warboss Ginganutz has used da high valyoo of his teef to kit his Bad Moon ladz out in a most un-Orky shooting fashion.

Proppa red ladz.

Steve loves big Nobz
The dawn breaks and a scene much like the end of The Good the Bad and the Ugly is played out. Only a lot quicker and with more swearing and beer drinking and rather less weird synth music.
As I have bought a Big Choppa to a Power Klaw fight I figure attack is da best part ov anyfing and launch Gruzzkup at Ballruum.
Who powerklaw's him to death in the face.
The two remaining Warbosses then manage to kill each other.

So with that out of the way we can get on with fightin'

Right, lets get it on!!!!
Thwack, thwack, thwack!

I tried an ambitious flanking manoova with the Shoota Ladz.
And ran into some Nobz.
Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go...
Steve spends a lot of time looking at Nobz
It's ON! Like Orky-kong
Over in another corner the two Evil Sunz Tribes went to Waaaagh with each other

Thwack, splat,krump!
And Ballruum'ss boyz stuffed stikkybombz up da Dreddz exhaust pipe.

Steve is used to having things shoved up his exhaust
Sadly Steve still had da wayt of numbaz. And more dakka

In the Red on Red action the Ballruum boyz came out on top and even throwing a Killa Kan into the mix was no help.

Eventually the two Evil Suns tribes had all but wiped each other out and the cocky Bad Moonz held sway in the ruins of Stefangrad.
However this is just da start and more Orky Civil Waaagh is likely to rage across Ikesaaaaan VII for a few more weeks (or until we get bored).

Tuesday, 17 January 2017


I knocked up some quick wood bases for games. Primarily intended for Dux Bellorum, but they're pretty generic western European area terrain woods.

Made from cheap Poundland floor tiles cut to shape with scissors, then PVA, sand, paint and static grass.
The trees are small GW ones. I've glued them to 2p pieces to give them a bit of heft and improve stability.
Cheap and cheerful but they'll improve the look of games.

Friday, 13 January 2017

Back to Tombogo - An Adventures Jimland AAR

Once more General Ballroom prepares to lead forth a small expedition in search of wealth and fame in the jungle lands of Tombogo.
As before he is accompanied by his school-chum Tweakers, his batman and bodyguard Flaherty and the hapless Scandiwegian scout Svensson

The account of the previous excursion General Ballroom made can be found here


The Diary of Ambrosius Ballroom 

April 23rd  1883

Tomorrow I shall once more lead an expedition into the unexplored interior of Tombogo. The fame of my previous exploration has traveled far and wide and I have been prevailed upon to return into the wilds once more. I have decided to resume a northwards passage through the jungles. Tweakers has once again agreed to accompany me. To my astonishment the d**nable Scandiwegian scout has returned as it were from the dead and presented himself for employment. Apparently it was just a flesh wound and he’s fully recovered. I advanced him his first three day’s pay and he vanished into the fleshpots of Tombogo – he had better appear in the morning, the knave!


April 24th 1883

Svensson clattered into the camp this morning at daybreak reeking of cheap perfume and native spirits. Flaherty dragged him to the river edge and thrust him into the water several times, which restored some semblance of sobriety and removed some of the smell.
We made swift progress to the edge of the territory we charted on my last glorious expedition I gave a short speech reflecting on my past achievements and Tweakers called for three cheers before we set off once more into the unexplored jungles.
Much of the day passed uneventfully though we encountered a small spring which grew into a river that soon forked both east and west. The scout suggested we follow the waterway but I dismissed his nonsense – Northward we shall go!
Late in the afternoon Tweakers gave a yell and fell to his knees gazing in rapture at a small purple flower. Truth to tell I was quite taken with its beauty as well and ordered the bearers to dig several up to take back to us. The Ballroom Dahlia (as I have chosen to name it) will be a horticultural hit across the Empire I am convinced.


April 25th 1883

A miserable night’s sleep – Tweakers snored fit to wake the dead and then complained most bitterly when I emptied the contents of my tooth mug over his head to rouse him. He is stil refusing to speak with me.
The jungle seemed to me unnaturally quiet as we set off, but the scout would have none of it and marched off at the head of the column. Almost the moment we had stepped into  the jungle the air was rent with cries and savages descended upon us.

Arrows fell amongst us before we could respond and one of the askari fell stone dead to the floor. Tweakers too was hit by an arrow and I worried for his safety, but luckily the deadly projectile merely scratched his cheek. Four of the natives rushed towards us.

Hastily I ordered the askari into a line though Flaherty raced away to engage in fisticuffs with the natives. We were too engaged with forming a defensive position to give fire and Flaherty swung and missed his opponent.

At this point an undiscovered Lion suddenly sprang forth to threaten the end of our defensive line, but fortunately it’s claws did not strike home.
The native archers fired once more but their arrows fell short. A second native turned on Flaherty and the other two rushed our line. However despite a flurry of blows no-one struck home.

I ordered the flag bearer out of the line to help Flaherty and one of his fellows ran to try and drag his companion free from the lion the final two ran to help in the tussle with the natives. Tweakers the Scandiwegian and I fired on the archers and the scout claimed a kill.  One of the evil natives struck down the flag bearer, in return the askari killed one of the two bold fellows who had charged home. The lion roared but was unable to strike home

Suddenly a cry to my right and Svensson fell to the ground with an arrow in his belly. A fatal blow – though he protested otherwise. Flaherty continued to swing and miss at his baffled opponents as another askari ran to help him. Meanwhile the two askari finally dispatched the ferocious lion with swift blows. It’s head will look nice back at Ballroom Manor.

In revenge for Svenson’s death Tweakers took aim and bagged one of the archers and the askari dragged another native to the ground and a huge blow from Flaherty broke the neck of another. Drawn by the death of her mate a lioness emerged from the jungle and took a swipe at an askari  before she and the surviving natives melted back into the trees.

Two dead askari and the scout breathing his last – despite maintaining he was hale and hearty – was a high butchers bill so early in the exploration, but I felt we must press on and ordered us forward. The dying Svensson pleaded to come with us and resisted our attempts to bury him so we left him where he had fallen.
The jungle soon began to thin and we started to climb into foothills and before long were high in the range of mountains that shall henceforth be known as the Ballroom Range.
Late in the day we encountered a small band of natives who seemed friendly though none of us could understand a word they said.
We made camp with a splendid view back over the jungles and toasted the memory of the late Scandiwegian.

April 26th 1883

Fever has struck the camp! One of the Askari has succumbed in the night  and Flaherty too has a high temperature and spent most of the morning incoherently muttering about the “silver bogs of home” or somesuch. Fortunately is iron constitution saw him though and by mid-afternoon he had climbed down from his stretcher and was once more marching with the rest of us.
In the absence of the scout I have been using my unerring sense of direction to guide us through these treacherous mountains. As night fell I located a lovely spot with a splendid view back over the jungles. Obviously a desirable spot as there was evidence of a camp having been there recently – natives presumably.

April 27th 1883

A quiet and uneventful day. Once more I led us to a campsite with another splendid view back over the jungles. Another place popular with natives as we found evidence of at least two camps.

April 28th 1883

In the night we were awoken by the sound of drumming. The two remaining askari claimed it was a bad omen and fled into the mountains like craven curs! Fortunately I am made of sterner stuff. As is Tweakers who snored his way through the whole thing.
Another day wondering in the mountains. Around midday we encountered more friendly natives and were able to trade for some more food. Again I located a safe camping spot with a splendid view of the jungle. Tweakers ventured that it all looked awfully familiar to him I fear that the sun is getting to him and he is becoming jaded with the sights we are seeing.

April 29th 1883

Tweakers insisted on leading the column today and I reluctantly agreed. At first things went well and we made good progress, but a sudden landslip saw two days food carried away, along with the three bearers that carried them. Tweakers and I exchanged strong words and almost came to blows. However I did say he could lead for today and am a man of my word, so eventually we went on following his direction. As the day wore on we once more encountered a party of natives – these seemed less friendly and tracked us through the mountains for some time before melting away.
At night we made camp in a most inferior spot. No view of the jungle nor evidence of previous camps.

April 30th 1883

Awoke to discover our bags had been rifled through in the night and our last remaining trade goods had been stolen. Tweakers was all for hunting down the culprits but I am mindful our food supplies are low and we should be making our way back toward Tombogo. To mollify him I allowed him to continue setting our direction, which proved a clear folly as we ended the day back at the same miserable spot we had occupied the night before. He would have none of it, insisting it was merely a similar spot and that the campsite detritus had been left by natives.
As we prepared to make camp we encountered the same group of natives we had previously traded with and once again they seemed keen to exchange but we have nothing to exchange apart from our limited food.

May 1st 1883

I once more assumed command of the expedition today and led us in what I believed to be a southerly direction. As we broke camp I stubbed my toe most painfully on a protruding rock. Closer examination of the offending item revealed it to be a bone of monstrous size – doubtless another thunder lizard – this one shall be known as the Ballroomasaurus. The bearers collected as much of the creatures remains as we could find and I led us down from the mountain and back into lush jungle. I fear we are being tracked as the unfriendly natives of two days ago once more appeared and followed us at a distance for much of the day. Flaherty wanted to chase them off, but mindful of our limited guns I held him back.

May 2nd 1883

Once again the infernal native drums struck up in the night. Three bearers were absent when we assembled again in the morning – the turncoats had even taken two days’ worth of food with them. This venture has felt cursed from the beginning and we are now down to almost our last supplies. I ordered us to travel what I believe to be eastward.
More natives appeared in the afternoon, but again were content just to track our progress.

May 3rd

The morning broke quiet and still and I ordered once more eastwards. We had only been marching for a few hours when Twekaers let out a cry and ran on ahead to a clearing where the tents we had left ten days earlier were waiting for us!
Also waiting for us was the Scandiwegian scout who again insisted his wound was not fatal and demanded his outstanding pay! I pointed out that as he’d left the party he’d not earned any pay and dismissed him on the spot. Though Tweakers subsequently re-hired him to lead us back to Tombogo.

On reaching the capital I was able to relax in a lovely warm bath.
Once again the bone-doctor denies that my thunder lizard is unique, though he did pay well for the remains. Similarly a plant fellow explained that the Ballroom Dahlia was an already known, albeit rare, species. He agreed a reward and took the plantings to send back to Kew Gardens.
Sadly this expedition has cost me rather more than it earned me. However I feel sure there are more resources to be had and as soon as I am well rested I shall venture forth once more!
God save the Queen!